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where is everyone? [Aug. 11th, 2007|09:08 pm]

[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

i'm not in crisis mode anymore, but i know there are still a shitload of people going through the quarterlife crisis... i'd like to help guide them through the wilderness. anyone still here? can we post some ads to drum up some more members?
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2005|10:04 pm]
so i'm 24
got some gs saved for a downpayment on a house or for a lawyer whatever comes first - car accident that went to court. shitty eh?

but i've got my education B.A in urban studies, sociology and geography
as well as my B. ED
so i'm going to be a teacher
so life is going well
getting an education is one of those great things that not everyone does. so i should be proud..

my friend ann says.. anyone can get married. thats not an accomplishment..
so i really shoulod be glad

SO MY PROFESSIONAL /EDUCATION/CAREER is headed in the right direction

but i really don't know where i am going and what i shoulod be doing right now with my life

i thought about going abroad to teach
that seems like something wild and exciting to do.
there's japan - they pay well.
or even try europe
but for a primary junior teacher - i'm not sure how much demand there is.
there's always teach english as a secfond language
JET? or i don't know

not quite started in my career...

other than that
i'm healthy
i've got all my own natural teeth
and i've got boobs - thanks to the pill
i'm as healthy as a horse but i've got better buns hon..
so there's my peace.
what i have to say about my life.
any thoughts or suggestions on where to head next?
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(no subject) [Jun. 14th, 2005|12:32 am]

[mood |pensivepensive]
[music |the police-every breathe you take]

i've run into several people from high school within the past week. i thought i was alone, or in the minority of people not doing "big" things, but none of us are doing anything "big". at least two people had this shame-faced manner about their current status... i don't know if it's a generational thing or just something people go through in their twenties, but it seems like we all thought we were gonna be rock gods and movie stars, but we're not [source:chuck palahniuk, fight club]</i>.
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(no subject) [May. 17th, 2005|11:39 pm]

[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

prepare to laugh your ass off, scream in horror, and call your grandma:
is bush the antichrist?
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(no subject) [May. 10th, 2005|04:51 pm]

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's If...

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of
Belair " ...and can do the "Carlton".
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and
felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters
club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals
scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom.

Read more...Collapse )
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(no subject) [May. 4th, 2005|04:01 pm]

So some good news...

I'll be getting my Associate degree in August, and then after that it'll be about another year or so and I'll have my Bachelor.

Sorry I haven't posted here in a while...I never believed people when they told me that getting married would make your life INSANELY busy. Been almost two months so far, and we don't hate each other yet.

Well, you guys, I don't have anything else that's worthy of posting! I'll leave ya to it.

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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2005|04:55 pm]

Hey you guys! I got married. Just thought I'd put that out there!

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we need to post more often... [Mar. 23rd, 2005|01:08 am]

so personally, i'm having a crisis of faith. i was raised christian. i know i need to have faith in something, but what?

how do you begin the search for something to believe/have faith in?
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Relationships [Feb. 27th, 2005|04:28 pm]

[mood |refreshedrefreshed]

To make a big comment to Kirsten's last post and the subsiquent comments it had:

Relationships do die. It's hard, because we build them and build them, and then, as young adults, we suddenly change and we lose these people we've spent years getting close to. And that hurts like hell.

Here is my story about friends. (Names changed for my sanity although if these people ever read this, they'd know who they are)
In 5th grade I met Kate. She had just moved to my town and after a somewhat akward first meeting, we became great friends. She lived a few houses down, so we would chill out there together, draw, and talk about our first real crushes. Our friends Ash and Tess made us four best friends. Then, in the middle of 6th grade, Kate began to act strangely. She began lying to me, telling me she was signed up to get a record contract (news to me. Not only was Kate a terrible singer, she had a speech impediment that made her difficult to understand at times. There was no way anyone would ever sign her on as a singer...) Then she began to talk behind my back and hang out with one of her other groups of friends. While I was a straight A honors student, Kate bordered on the C+ range and was in support classes. The jealousy got too much. She began to say ridiculous things to me and favor kids who were in her special assistance classes. It came to a boiling point when during field day, we were with a group of mutual friends, and she turned to me and made the meanest comment our immature 6th grade brains could fathom. "Natalie," she said to a nearby friend. "Would want to get raped. She'd like it."
Shocked by this idea of SEX and not only with a gross boy (!) but someone who I didn't want to have it with, I got upset. A mutual friend told Kate to back off, but I was done. I lost a best friend and cried to my mother. I had never met anyone meaner.

Troubles didn't end there. Once Kate was gone, I focused my friendship energies on my old friend, Tess. I was friends with Tess until 8th grade when things went downhill. Tess was always shy, and she went through a strange bout of depression over failing grades and uninclusive friends. It was no one's fault but hers- she never put in effort. But someone, I got blamed for excluding her and she took a week off school and sent me a scathing email blaming me for things I had never done. Tess went off to boarding school for high school and we lost touch. We rarely see eachother anymore even though we had been great friends since meeting in 1st grade.

Ash was my oldest friend. We had met in Kindergarden, attended church together since that time, and played dress up for years. When we hit middle school, we managed to remain pretty good friends despite different classes. In eighth grade, I went through a tough time not only losing Tess, but having Ash lose touch too. She hung out with more popular girls and made sly comments about me during Religious Ed. My mom tried to comfort me, telling me Ash would come around eventually. It took her until late in my Junior year for her to realize we were meant to be friends. She came back and we're close again.

In that akward period between Ash, I made six best friends that lasted from eighth grade until junior year. We were so close in 8th and 9th grade and when we hit 10th, things fell apart. Everyone in the group had a best friend, and I, being person #7, was the odd egg. It was ok, because we all got along well. One particular girl, Diana, I considered my best friend. Then she went off and joined some hippy alt- religious group and totally changed. She started doing reckless things and pulled another friend into the group. By default, two others got pulled in and suddenly I was never called, never invited out. I tried helplessly to plan days where we'd all hang out, but I was still the third wheel. The final straw came in junior year on my birthday. Several days before, I was approached by Diana and another, asking me to come to a surprise party for a friend, Ally, whose birthday was 2 days before mine. I smiled and agreed, thinking how brilliant it was of them to have a joint surprise party for Ally and I, but to tell me it was only for her. I showed up and was heartbroken. The party was solely for Ally, who, when she walked in, gave me the oddest look as if to say, "why isn't this party for you too?" Somehow, someone must have told Diana how upset I was. Two days later while working on a play, I came to crew call to find some supermarket-made cupcakes and "Happy Birthday Natalie" taped on the stage in masking tape. Whoo-hoo. I spent the next day on my hands and knees scraping the tape off after it had melted onto the stage under the lights. Some friends.

So Senior year, I had a total of TWO great friends my age, the rest were from other classes. I had a total of ONE girl friend my age. Sad.

Thank god for college.
For those of you who know me, I apologize if I'm clingy, but I don't want to lose you. I hope these ones last.

Sorry if that was depressing, but it was cleansing for me. I'm done trying to make people love me who don't. I waisted two years of high school tagging along with six girls who really didn't give a shit about me. And I'm so damn glad I eventually realized that, though I wasted many tears on the subject. So, to those of you who have stuck with me..S and C from home, and my new friends at college, thank you.
You matter.
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Ramble on [Feb. 23rd, 2005|11:19 pm]

[mood |happyhappy]
[music |velvet revolver - fall to pieces]

I actually feel like I'm not the screw up in my parents' eyes anymore. Until recently they'd been consistantly on my back since I was sixteen years old. SIXTEEN! Never before that. Still haven't really figured that out. I admit, I was somewhat of a badass, or so I thought. It truly took drastic and subconcious measures for me to change my perspective of myself. Well, it's what they should have expected, they raised me to be a strong independent woman and when I finally started to come into my own, all I felt from them was utter rejection and misunderstanding. So I rebelled, like probably all people do, and my parents didn't take kindly to it at all, and they all but disowned me. I'm talking, kicked me out of the house, took the car, took the money.

And that's what I wanted.

I honestly can say that maybe my original intentions weren't as such, but that's the way it ended up. The fights were just getting intolerable, even after they allowed me to come back home to live. So I left. I'd had enough negativity in the months preceding the said incident and all I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and just give up. But instead, I moved out of there. Probably the best and smartest thing I had done at that point in my life.

So since then I've gotten my life back on track, I've got a family for the first time in my life, I've got a wonderful boyfriend. (whom I call my unofficial fiance, it bugs the crap out of him) I'm going back to school and am finally going to stop being the screw up and do something somewhat productive. And the greatest part about all this is that I am doing it all for me and I'm getting it all done by myself, like a bloody normal person.

I can finally have a normal conversation with my parents without them telling me that what I am doing is "not me" or "not appropriate." They raised me to be independant. Now I finally am. It's the best feeling I've ever had. And it will only get better.

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