|when did they get this one in my head?
||[Feb. 22nd, 2005|08:49 pm]
Whenever I think about the future. I mean the future of most of my relationships, I have a lot of reservations. It seems like it's been drilled into my head so much that I just can't quiet it: No matter how hard you try, the people you love and love you back--including your family, close friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, everyone-- will eventually stop loving you/caring about you and move on with their lives? I feel this way all the time. I feel like it's stupid and naive of me to even hope that any of my relationships will endure. Sometimes family is an exception, I guess. It makes me so, ugh, mad or sad or some other real emotion that I can't seem to put my finger on. I know this can't just be me. Or maybe it is. That would be pathetic. Whatever.
ps- I saw Sideways and hated it. That's probably just me too.
We talked about this subject in my creative writing class. What I came up with is that basically love gets recycled. Sure the "first love" or whatever is great but people eventually get tired of EVERYTHING so then that dies out and then you find someone else to love the same way. I guess the trick is to find the one person that you can never get tired of, which in our divorced filled ADD soaked generation can be tough. I hope this lj isn't a cryptic "I've broken up with so and so" post, cause I was routing for you two crazy kids.
P.S. I think you didn't like Sideways because the hype has been built up too much for it. I remember when I saw it just thinking it was ok anyway.
don't worry, I know you know, but we crazy kids are still together. fuck my pessimistic ljs.
i've to some degree always felt like i had my mom's love unconditionally. but as far as the rest of my family goes, there's just too much drama. my friends have become my family.
things happen and people sometimes grow apart. it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love or care about one another. things change and few people realize that you just have to accept people the way they are, because no one is perfect and we're all still growing.
ie - the girl, who was my best friend in college, stopped hanging out with me junior year, because her interests had changed. it hurt a lot, but i got through and i'm a stronger person. some mutual friends helped us to start talking again and things are cool, but my ultimate point here is that we never stopped caring about each other. things got funky and we both had some growing up to do... HANG in there!
...& i haven't seen sideways:)
2005-02-23 06:24 am (UTC)
Wow . . . definitely not a happy perspective. I know that a lot of the people who we develop relationships with pass through our lives, it's part of a natural progression that comes with us changing as people and the other person changing as well, sometimes in diverging directions. That's not necessarily a bad thing.
However, there really are enduring friendships and relationships in life. Just as an example, my mom met 2 of her best friends when she was 10. Forty-seven years later, they're still close. My parents have been divorced for 17 years; my mom still goes over to my dad's parents once a week to eat dinner and visit. Relationships really can last. Don't lump them all into one heap that is dominated by the superficial or short-term relationships.
I have recently come to terms with the wonderful fact that my family will always love me no matter what. It is a very odd feeling to know that you can be flawed and have horribly annoying habits and those are the things they will love about you. Those are the things that they associate with you.....because all that "bad" shit is going to be with you for the rest of your life becauset that is who you are. I think it is possible to find friends like that. I think it is possible to find people that are not in my family that can love me for the overdramatic, sarcastic, neat freak I am.
But the majority of relationships will end. It is very weird. Why work so hard in a relationship, especially when you are this young, if you know that it will probably end you know? Is it because that person could be the one? But is it possible to find that person so early in life?
P.S. I wanted to like sideways.......mmmmmm
change is good.
you get to meet new people and learn newthings. life would be boring if itwas the same thing all the time.
butwe should be allowed to gireve for these relations.
thanks, guys, I like youre feedback. funny how you perspective can change so quickly. ahh, crazy life, I love it.